Write and draw with the power of a robot!
The following are some things to look at (see below):

What we would like you young people to do rather than waste time texting.

Tales of Tech Support


This is not a joke

Three anecdotes with humorous twists at the end

100 Robot Designs

Upcoming Projects

Deleted scenes from the great novels

Floss Different

And Much, Much, More...

All text, images, ideas, and jokes (no matter how funny or not funny) are the property of BIONIC PENCIL and SHALL NOT be copied, retransmitted, reused, recompiled, or anything like that without the EXPRESS written consent of the owner. So for example, if you use one of these jokes in your stand-up routine, or even a joke that's kind of like one of these jokes, then you are breaking the law and YOU ARE A BAD PERSON. I'm not even kidding. And you know what else? If I hear about you doing something like that, maybe printing off pages from this site and photocopying them and handing them out to your friends, then watch your back buddy because someday you'll be driving along a quiet country road, the sun will begin to go down, and then suddenly you'll realize that someone is in the backseat.
That will be me.

No animals were harmed in the making of this website, though a few of them had it coming (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!), and a guy wearing a bear suit twisted his ankle really bad, but I don't think that counts.

Side effects of viewing this website may include headache, nausea, blurred vision, and euphoria bordering on madness. Do not view this website while driving and/or operating dental equipment. This website is not intended as a substitute for a loving relationship, but you never know.

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Use of the letter i throughout this website courtesy of Apple Inc.

Click here for magic unicorn version of this page

Our promise to you: No hitting, no biting, no talking bad about you behind your back.

key to symbols

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